It’s been 7 years since you tied the knot and all is well. You have a loving spouse and kids. Finances and health are on track, and family life seems mostly perfect. But you are feeling the 7-year itch; a common trend after reaching the seven-year mark after marriage, when couples start feeling restless and dissatisfied with the marriage even when there are no major issues with the relationship. Instead of giving in to this feeling of discontent and marital dissatisfaction, you can think about ways to bring passion and excitement back into the relationship, and keep your life on track:
1. Remind yourself and your spouse about why you appreciate them. Find small opportunities to praise them instead of highlighting their flaws and comparing them with other people.
2. Connect with them emotionally instead of slipping mindlessly into comfortable silences and disregarding the other person’s presence altogether.
3. Thank them for their efforts, even if they do less than you. Stop calculating or keeping a score and they might do the same for you.
4. Practise self-care to maintain your health and looks, and feel better about yourself.
5. Cultivate strong friendships outside your marriage and go out with your friends regularly so that you don’t obsess over your relationship with your spouse or start feeling bored and tired of it.
6. Be kind and if you have had a rough day for any reason, don’t take it out on them.
7. Do things with your partner that he/she enjoys doing, even if it’s not your cup of tea usually.
8. Make time and plans for intimacy, both inside and outside the bedroom.
9. If you feel there is a major disconnect in your relationship, talk it out with your spouse instead of burying it somewhere. Seek a counsellor’s help if things start getting out of hand.
Remember that you are the only person who can make yourself happy and if your spouse doesn’t have any major bad habits or negative behaviour patterns (substance abuse, unfaithfulness, rage, etc.) that are impacting your marriage, you can always find ways to make the relationship stronger instead of checking out of it completely and being miserable. Stop comparing your relationship to that of others and indulging in games that will help you avoid intimacy. Be genuine, fair and clear about what you want, and pursue your relationship goals with a positive mindset.