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DIRECTOR: Ashutosh Gowariker
STARRING: Hrithik Roshan, Pooja Hegde, Kabir Bedi, Suhasini Mulay, Arunoday Singh and the leftover cast of Lagaan as extras
RATING: 2.5 stars
Mohenjo Daro presents the age-old story of good versus bad in times so alien to all of us. Despite having a spectacular set, the film doesn’t give any great insights into history or the civilisation. There is hard work for sure. Full points to the team for recreating that era. I felt transported to that era, bought into their stories also but I feel sorry that the film didn’t cut much ice with me. Watch it for the sheer magnificence, the sheer scale. I just thought to have some fun with the movie in a pictorial movie review, started by the hilarious Imaan Sheikh.
Mohenjo Daro (Mojo) is a film about history, love, endurance and weird hairdos and headgears.
The movie begins with a daredevil act by our hero called Sermon…I mean Sarman, who upsets Maneka Gandhi by killing a crocodile in a small village called Amri.
The daredevil act is soon followed by scenes singlehandedly dedicated to show what an amazing human being our Sarman is. He is brave. He is dedicated. He is always willing to help. He is obedient. He is Anna Hazare. He is Mahatma Gandhi. He is Mother Teresa. He is Arvind Kejriwal. Sad there were no fancy universities at that time, else, he would have stood avval in his college too.
Oh, I forgot. He is curious as well. He wants to travel. He wants to see where the sun rises, where it sets. He wants to fly…run…fall…he is basically Ranbir Kapoor from Yeh Jawaani Hain Deewani in sacks.
So he travels from Amri to Mojo where his acts of kindness still continue. He meets an old man and gives him his carpet-shawl. Aww... so kind. He stands up for the poor. Aww... so upright. He reprimands his best friend Hojo for staring at girls. Aww so sanskari. Cut to next scene. Sanskari turns sleazy.
Errr…research ki aisi ki taisi.
Sleazy Sarman and Human Parrot then fall in love. Because they both are good looking and all good looking people should fall in love. With each other that is. They even sing a song.
Oops wrong song.
But there is a problem. The baddie in the film has a bad headgear, a bad skirt, bad temper and a bad, bad crush on Human Parrot.
So it’s decided that Sleazy Sarman will have to go through Bakar Zokaar Pariksha. Errr what? Wait till you watch. Bakar Zokaar are cannibal-cousins.
Of course our hero wins. I think it’s the end of the story. It’s not. I forgot it was an Ashutosh Gowariker film. I turned 58, the hero continued with his heroic acts. He finds out about his father, his past and all. Wow, can I leave now? No. He even catches the bad men red-handed as they smuggle weapons in the pious land of Mojo.Very nice. Can it please end here now? NO! There are torrential rains. Mojo is drowning. Sleazy Sarman turns into a civil engineer. Amazeballs. Is it over? No!! He builds a bridge, minus the concrete that is. Gives instructions. Scoops everyone out of their cottages. Swims in the river. Helps everyone. HE IS THE BEST THING EVAH THAT HAPPENED TO MANKIND!! Wait…listen…where are you going…there is more…he turns into a God…he grows wings…he starts flying...Krissh Returns....listen…don’t go.
Ok you don’t intend to end. I am leaving. Yalla bye.
THE RATINGS MEAN:
5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before you die!)
4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)
3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once.
2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!
1 star: Do I even need to explain this?