Movie Review: Kill Dil
Does Kill Dil deliver on its promise of absolute entertainment? City 1016's Lokesh Dharmani watched the film and had this to say
STARRING: Ranveer Singh, Parineeti Chopra, Ali Zafar, Govinda
DIRECTOR: Shaad Ali
RATING: 1.5 stars
Let’s begin with a confession. I couldn’t watch the entire film. I was busy facepalming half the time. Let me break it down for you.
Facepalm moment number 1- Bhaiyyaji has two gunmen: Baby-faced Assassin and Brooding-looks Badass who were found in a garbage dump when they were peeing in their chaddis.
Facepalm moment number 2- Baby-faced Assassin falls in love with Bountiful Bombshell who works as a criminal reformer but suffers from an acute disorder of malignant-lympho-fashion-faux-pas-sarcoma, a disease where patients can’t breathe because the clothes are too tight.
Facepalm moment number 3- Bountiful Bombshell finds out that Baby-faced Assassin’s sharpshooting skills do not mean he is Abhinav Bindra. Since there is no Olympic medal in this relationship, she dumps him. (Arrey, but you rehabilitate criminals, you should be happy he has converted, no?!)
The characterisation is as brilliant as the plot.
Meet Disha. She has a noble job of reforming criminals, the Hindi film type of reformer who parties with friends, drinks unabashedly and DRIVES A FERRARI!!! (No, not the kind of Ferrari that pops up in a dream sequence, but the kind of Ferrari which Delhiites use to go to Azadpur Sabzi Mandi for their weekly vegetable shopping!!)
And like all good social workers, she wears skimpy clothes. After all, she was so busy rehabilitating that she couldn’t find her size in the season’s sale. She had to make do with an XXXXXS size! I usually don’t comment on anyone’s weight or fashion sense, but let me be the bearer of the bad news.
Dear Parineeti Chopra, those clothes are just unflattering. Fire Poorvi and Aki Narula NOW!
Govinda-Lokesh-you-will-be-dissapointed-as-I-don’t-have-a-surname-hehe plays Bhaiyyaji who wants to kill people for reasons not explained. He has temperament of a hostel warden, like he gets angry when Dev (Ranveer Singh) is busy coochie-cooing Parineeti and doesn’t show up for dinner. Bunking is indeed a serious offence. Tch tch!
The writing of the film is so lazy that they haven’t even given full names to some of the characters. Ali-actor-ke-saath-singer-free-Zafar is called Tutu (thankfully, he is not wearing one). I wonder if the writers wrote the film at a ballet or if they slept midway while naming him, Tu…tu..shaar..zzzz…Tutu…..zzzz!! But that’s least of my concerns. Between Govinda and Ali Zafar, I couldn’t quite decide who was more bored. They looked disinterested like a Siddharth Mallya in an Asaram satsang.
But it all made sense. Why waste money and effort on enthusiastic actors when you have Ranveer-Red-Bull-Singh. He is so excited that he has a song for every occasion. See girl. Sing a song. Meet girl. Sing a song. Date girl. Sing a song. Girl’s birthday. Sing a song. Diwali. Sing a song. Job hunt. Sing a song. Job loss. Sing a song. See this is what happens when you give all the films to Amit Trivedi and Vishal-Shekhar, and sideline poor Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy. They have happily made up for all the films they lost in the past.
Ranveer Singh is endearing. He has worked very hard for the film. Like he wears jackets and shades when he is shooting people down and a tie when he goes looking for a job. (Wah, such research and character depth). After he is ridiculed at most of the multinational companies, he is saved by none other than devon ke devta, the ashirwad bearer, the param pujya, the super sanskari ALOK NATH who sits in a life insurance office that has a portrait of Nirupa Roy as its founder, the only moment I burst out laughing. I hope they meant it to be funny.
It took seven years for Shaad Ali to come back to direction after Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. I wish the sabbatical had lasted a little longer though.
After the three-hour torture, I have a better name for the film, KILL ME!!!!!!
WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN
5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before you die!)
4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)
3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once.
2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!
1 star: Do I even need to explain this?