Movie Review: Kick

Is this Salman Khan-Jacqueline Fernandez starrer capable of giving audiences a 'kick'? Over to City 1016's Lokesh Dharmani
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Movie Review: Kick
Salman Khan in Kick

Director: Sajid Nadiadwala

Starring: Salman Khan, Jacqueline Fernandez, Randeep Hooda 

Rating: 2.5 stars 

Dear Salman lovers,

I admit I am ugly, useless loser and most importantly, I should die because Salman’s already multi-crore spinner didn’t give me any kick, pun hell intended!

But please understand that this is nothing personal about Salman khan. It's not even about good or bad films as it's all very subjective. It's about my expectations from a film and whether or not you subscribe to my cinematic sensibilities. We can agree to disagree or else I am willing to die happily. That will save me the torture of watching a possible Kick Back sequel!

Salman Khan’s films can be broadly divided into two categories; one where he plays a Pandeyji, a caricature- misogynist who slaps his lady love with one hand and doles out cash with the other, glorifying the ever-so-regressive definition of manliness. And the other category is where he plays an extension of himself; bad-ass with a heart. Nothing can ever deter him in his some notorious, some philanthropic acts because let’s face it; things like government, police, judiciary, laws and sundry in a Salman Khan film are pretty much like his heroines - second fiddle, not at all important.

Kick starts with Shaina (Jacqueline-my-resume-now-has-a-film-with-Sallu-Fernandez) meeting the top cop Himanshu (Randeep-I-borrowed-Pandeyji’s-uniform -Hooda) over a quick Shaadi.com meeting and ends up talking about her ex.

Insert FLASHBACK

And we are introduced to Devi Lal Singh who seeks kick in everything he does which is explained by a string of loud, noisy sequences, noisier parents and some did-you-know-facts about him. Like he types on a laptop upside down, is ambidextrous, wears his watch around his ankle and has switched over 32 jobs. The word ‘kick’ is so lavishly used that you scream in pain- YES WE GEDDDIT! Stop it now!

After Shaina’s love story ends, Himanshu insists his story be told. A hate story at that. Of a man who Delhi Police has been chasing for long because he has robbed many a millionaire and most of all he has stolen Krishh’s mask. In the second half of the film Salman is presented as a merciless masked money-minded maniac (Woah, I love my alliterations!) who executes well- planned robberies. Despite a blah plot I applauded Salman for playing an unapologetic bad guy for the first time. Alas I realised I had spoken too soon because all his heartless mean acts are well justified towards the end of the film. Soon you realise it’s not a film, it’s a three-hour long Being Human advertisement. Phew.

Some of the sequences are written well especially the phone conversations between Devil and Himanshu have an interesting word play. Nawazudin Siddiqui evokes unintentional laughs with his poker-faced cool act. Rajat Arora has given him some really funny lines. In a scene where Devil beats all his well-built gora bodyguards to a pulp, he complains- “Saalo ko itna khilaya pilaya, sab past, lagta hain China ka maal aa gaya hain.” But there are some illogical scenes too. He kills a doctor to know the whereabouts of Devil and in the next scene admits that Devil is in Poland. Arey pata tha toh doctor ko kyon mara bhai!?

Nawaz tries to give some histrionics to the character of (I have forgotten the name) but looks so contrived in his silly muted laughter. This is his worst, but Kick’s best performance. Jacqueline Fernandez tries hard as she mouths ‘social psychology’ ‘retrograde amnesia’ in an eggzzaatic accent to establish herself as a psychiatrist. Average acting aside, she looks gorgeous in every frame. Randeep Hooda’s character of a top cop finally lets Abhishek Bachchan have the last laugh. At least there is someone more inefficient than ACP Jai Dixit of Dhoom.

Salman Khan has undoubtedly a superstar presence. I so wish if someone gave him a real, believable character to play too. Devi Lal Singh is enthusiasm on ecstasy. Like calm down. Shaina has aptly saved his number as ‘headache’. In a scene an inspector asks Shaina, how she bears him, “kaise jhelte ho isko”? And I felt relieved that I was not the only one finding Devi annoying.

So if you applaud men flying through glass buildings, landing unscathed, without a strand out of place; if you subscribe to the Robinhood ways; loot and kill the rich to help the poor, damn the laws and most importantly, if you think Salman can do no wrong, go watch Kick after all that’s what the festival of Eid in Bollywood is better known as- “Bhai ki fillaam lagi hain bidddu, let’s go watch.” 

INFO: KICK IS PLAYING AT CINEMAS INCLUDING GRAND CINEMAS IN DUBAI (WAFI, FESTIVAL CITY, IBN BATTUTA MALL AND AL GHURAIR CENTRE), ABU DHABI (ABU DHABI MALL), SHARJAH (MEGAMALL AND SAHARA CENTRE), AL AIN (ROTANA) AND RAS AL KHAIMAH (MANAR MALL) www.grandcinemas.com; VOX CINEMAS IN DUBAI (MIRDIF CITY CENTRE, DEIRA CITY CENTRE, MALL OF THE EMIRATES, MERCATO MALL), AJMAN (AJMAN CITY CENTRE), FUJAIRAH (FUJAIRAH CITY CENTRE) AND RAS AL KHAIMAH (AL HAMRA MALL), www.voxcinemas.com. 

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