- 1 / 2
I walked out of the movie. Trust me, I have watched worse. I have watched Gang of Ghosts, Jackpot. Wait Creature in 3 D. And all those films you didn’t even know existed. So I have a decent tolerance for bad films. But I just couldn’t sit through Housefull 3.
A story in films like these is a myth. It is sheer buffoonery that gets worse with every second, with every joke shamelessly copied from WhatsApp. Watching these films is like being added into those inane WhatsApp groups again and again that you have left multiple times.
The film starts with a beautiful aerial shot of Big Ben, London Eye and we know the setting. But that is not enough. The text rolls out on the screen- L.O.N.D.O.N. Thanks for telling. I would have never guessed. And if that was not enough, we see three men commit a major robbery wearing masks painted in English flag colours. Yes, dearest Sajid, Farhad, I have an IQ of a tortoise. Sorry. Can you please tell me which city your movie was shot in?
I couldn’t quite decide what was more clever: the casting of three anglicised actresses in a movie based in London or their dialogues. Sample this: ''Kya aap table ke liye aaye hain?'' Is it their idea of a joke? I would let it pass if it was one odd joke. The film abounds with such gems.
Bahar latakte hain- Let’s hang out.
Bandook ka beta- Son of a Gun.
Thandi dawai lo- Take a chill pill.
Every character has a strange way of humour. Riteish Deshmukh’s character has a silly way with words too. ''Will you be my tawaiyaf…oops, I mean wife?'' Or “Aap mera nirodh karenge…matlab virodh karenge.”
And then there was some solace as Jackie Shroff and his swag appeared on the big screen. Alas, solace hung itself to death as Jackie Shroff spoke. ATM- aaj tujhe marunga. BMC- bagal mein churi. No wait. How old is the writer of the film? 6? Sorry, my bad. I assumed the film has a writer.
Towards the end of Housefull 3, the girls confess in the church, feeling bad for a physically challenged young boy Simon being bullied by his friends. Wow. This is the mother of all ironies. Your entire film is nothing but a sad parody of unfunny, crass jokes about disabled people and here you are asking for forgiveness for being insensitive. That’s the problem with this film. It wants to be everything. Funny and emotional as well. Don’t try it, dude, when you don’t feel a word of that apology.
Akshay Kumar is as comfortable playing the obnoxious Sandy, which also means he is at his loudest best. Riteish Deshmukh, who usually enjoys such roles (and does a good job), seems disinterested, almost wondering how long he will have to repeat this act. Abhishek Bachchan looks jaded. Those cool tattoos fail to hide his fatigue.
Jacqueline, Lisa and Nargis are your quintessential cookie-cutter dimwits, who wear similar clothes in different shades and similar lipsticks in similar shades.
And no. NO. Just NO. Don’t, please don’t try an ‘arrey-it’s-a-masala-film-calm-down-loosen-up’ on me. I can’t surgically detach my brains and leave them behind when I watch films.
If your idea of humour is red ants crawling over a disabled man’s crotch or an old man farting as he mounts a bike or a blind man being asked to jump into a waterless pool, then I have two things for you.
1. You need help.
2. God bless you.