Director: Vishal Pandya
Starcast: Biceps, Ample Skin and a London brochure
Hate Story IV starts with a couple fighting and screaming, with cameras crash zooming in on their faces, faster than their expressions could change, with blaring background music playing at a deafening level. Hashtag kaafi melodrama. I almost expected a Tulsi Veerani to show up from behind the curtains and say, kya, kya, kyaaaa?
Hate Story IV is about four people, Tharki 1, Tharki 2 (Vivan Bhatena and Karan Wahi), Cleavage 1 (Urvashi Routela) and Cleavage 2 (Ihana Dhillon). Tharki 1 and 2 are brothers from the same mother and Tharki 1 is married to Cleavage 2. Tharki brothers kill Cleavage 1’s brother in Mumbai and come to England. They have never seen her. Hashtag Kaafi Plot Convenience. So she comes to England, falls in love with Tharki 2. Tharki 1 also wants to sleep with Cleavage 1. Wait. She is his bhai’s girlfriend. Also he is already married to Cleavage 2. He is called tharki for a reason bro! Also his pappa is Gullu uncle, bole toh Gulshan Kumar, who also by the way flirts with Cleavage 1. Hashtag poora khandan tharki.
So Tharki 1 spikes her drink. Now at this point in time, you must know that it’s a special Bollywood pill, that dissolves in a goblet of sprit in slow motion like Disprin and has some special effects thrown into the mix. She kicks her behind backwards, chest out, tummy in and starts cat walking towards Tharki 1. Aha kaafi swag! She even dances and sings a song. No lip-syncing ok. It’s a real film, hmph. So basically this pill makes you an Indian Idol, a Super Dancer and India’s Next Top model all in one basically. Biwi Cleavage and Bhai Tharki come to know about Bade Tharki Bhaiya’s shady nights. They both confront him and are killed by him. Accidentally that is. But finally he comes to know that Cleavage 1 was taking her revenge for killing her bhai. Meaning, hashtag Kaafi Twist, Kaafi Chutzpah and Kaafi Ch***yapa.
But let me not be too harsh. The film has some very creative dialogues by Milap-Grand-Masti-Javeri. Here’s a quick recap:
1. I am somebody, who can get anybody, but I will have nobody because I want your body.
2. Tum bistar par bichchi chadar toh badal sakte ho par usme lipti hui Mashooka nahi. Or- Aasman pe le jaane wale pehle Bistar pe letana chahte hain. There are so many bistar dialogues that they could have easily brand placed a home furnishing brand in the movie.
3. Bedroom mein kiye huye promise ki value boardroom mein nahi hoti.
4. Ok this one comes with some researched scientific ‘did you know’ trivia. Cleavage 2 comes out of her pool and says she loves water, after all our body is 65% water. This biological tip was brought to you by Kahani ki Demand- Bikini Scene.
Also this Tharki Khuranaa Khandaan can’t let their shady secrets out because elections are around the corner. Not in Lucknow but in London. Hashtag Kaafi International. Also we know that pappa Tharki is a mayor to be because in one scene, in all his seriousness he points at someone and says, ‘Hey Steve, let’s discuss.’
The film’s performances are its highlights. Karan Wahi looks like gareebo ka Shahrukh Khan. But he is better than his idol in at least one department. Hamming that is. He even lands an SRK Señorita dialogue. Vivan Bhatena who was pretty decent in Katti Batti, Dangal, Judwa or even duds like Hero is wasted in the film. Urvashi heaves seductively so much that I constantly felt out of breath. But she has given variety for sure. Like cleavage becomes Kurti with Lakhnavi Chikan embroidery, when she mouths dialogues that involves words like - behan, bhai, pita and other Alok Nath kind of words. See such versatility!
The film is largely shot in London. Hashtag International Embarrassment!! You wonder where the money comes from that the franchise is now in its fourth international sequel? Well there were twelve other people who decided to begin their Friday mornings watching Hate Story IV. You figure now, how?!