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Starring: Johnny Bravo, Ferrari wale papa, Hot lips and Long legs
The most amazing thing about the film is that it has a sequel. Hate Story 3. HOW? Really how do you manage a third film of the franchise? The idea behind these films: Jism 4, Murder 28, Hate Story 358 is a simple three letter word. Alas, there is no FUN here. What else were you thinking?
Ok let me say it as is. In Hate Story 3, there is no sex. It only vexed. Me. Beyond Belief.
The previous two films showed women unabashedly seducing men, unapologetically using their bodies and avenging themselves. And that could sexy for some. But Hate Story 3 pits two men against each other.
The doting papa from Ferrari Ki Safari, Sharman Joshi is a business tycoon married to a pair of hot lips, (Zarine-Gareebo-Ki-Katrina-Kaif- Khan.) He also has a secretary called Long Legs, (Daisy-Sallu-Bhai-Ki-Jai-Ho-geddit-geddit-Shah)
Then there is Karan-Singh Grover whose character, Saurav is a lust child of Hugh Hefner and Johnny Bravo.
Johnny Hefner has taken a shine on Hot Lips and wants to spend a night with her. (There is even a pair of silver lips hanging on his living room’s wall. Ah such detailing I tell you!) Don't judge him yet. He is the most sanskari tharki ever. He seeks husband's permission if he can play wham-bam-thank you-mam with Hot Lips. He even gifts them an Audi as bait. But bait doesn’t budge beauty and her beau. The husband is rather bemused with Bravo's raging hormones. Hence they both are at logger heads with a dialogue on a loop, main tujhe barbaad kar dunga.
The writer of the film (and that’s just an assumption that the film has one) even justifies Bravo Hefner’s high libido. He admits he wants to sleep with Hot Lips because her husband killed his sister. It’s this simplicity: you killed my sister; I sleep with your wife: that makes this film so unique. That’s derogatory to women, you argue. Come on, that’s because you are clearly misled by the notion that women are people too.
I also particularly loved how songs were such a unique part of the film’s narrative. Picture this-
a) There is a scene where Long Legs goes missing. Everyone is worried. Cut to a club. She is gyrating to some House music. IT’S NOT EVEN AN AR RAHMAN NUMBER, NOT EVEN A HONEY SINGH SONG. WHY DO WE HAVE THIS SONG?
b) Hot Lips being interviewed by a media person. She reminisces about her ex-boyfriend, looks at her current boyfriend and jumps into a very hot, seductive dream sequence, all in the middle of an interview.
c) Bravo meets Long Legs. Long Legs gives him a hard drive that has all the information on his enemy. Long Legs slips into a shower, Bravo opens a champagne bottle and they both slither on each other!! Bravo even kisses her. And then she dies. And my head started singing, ‘Zehar hain ki pyar hain tera chumma.’
The film manages to pack some decent performances too. Karan Singh Grover has such amazing expressions on his abs. Daisy Shah seduces in the tone of a nursery rhyme. Zarine Khan heaves, heaves and heaves some more. And Sharman Joshi screams ‘rich cunning rascal’ in the name of intensity.
If you are still alive at the end of the film, you would notice a book in apna Bravo’s house. It reads Isaac Newton. That makes perfect sense. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, subtly establishing it as a revenge story. Errr NOT!