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DIRECTOR: Abhishek Kapoor
STARRING: Tabu, Katrina Kaif and Aditya Roy Kapoor
RATING: 2 stars
Director Abhishek Kapoor has finally succeeded at something that no filmmaker has managed to so far: cast Aditya Roy Kapoor without alcohol. The only time when he drinks in the movie, he spews some delicious, delirious lines like, "Doodh mangoge, kheer denge…Kashmir mangoge, cheer denge." I understand it's a famous slogan, but this Mother Dairy of a line comes without any political context.
Shot beautifully, Fitoor does appeal to you. Anay Goswami's lens captures Kashmir beautifully. There are shikaras, snow-clad mountains, wooden houses and, of course, chinar leaves that have a special talent of turning everything mediocre into OhhhMyyyGoooodddThat'sSooooBeauuuutiifulll. Remember the last time when chinar leaves fluttered around a sweater-wearing, violin-playing SRK, we witnessed a grumpy, bearded Amitabh Bachchan, the prettiest Hindi movie ghost in Aishwarya and the debut of Uday Chopra's abs.
Fitoor is about Noor (Aditya-I-am-not-drinking-in-this-film-Roy-Kapoor) who loves a porcelain vase called Firdaus (Katrina-now-available-in-expensive-red-hair-Kaif). But matriarch of a mamma Begum Hazrat (Tabu) ain't very happy with this relationship. After all, shaadis should happen in the same class and jazz. Mamma sends the vase of a daughter to London because hey, that's the only way to justify Katrina's accent.
Now this is your full on masala Bollywood plot that partly works, mostly not.
There is never a simple, straight answer for any question. Since we have Kashmir in the background, there is a lot of daraktein, yaadein, jannat, qayamat for a simple 'How are you?' The impending hot scene between the lead couple has a tiresome foreplay about 'Mujhe qaid kar liya, riha toh sirf maut hi kar sakti hain ya phir ishq' and you are like, 'Dude, cut the chase and just do it!' They don't. It's edited out. Ouch!!
But don't get me wrong. The dialogues are poetic, have a context, alas, delivered so badly that they lose impact.
Even the characterisation is a bit confused and inconsistent. Noor, who is happy with Begum Hazrat promoting him as a rising artist, suddenly gets into a self-respect mode towards the climax of the film.
Fitoor means obsession. And the lead pair transforms that obsession so beautifully on the big screen: the obsession with well-toned bodies, coloured hair, fancy clothes and shoes. I mean so what if we can’t feel their pain, their agony, their joys, so what if it’s a pretentious love story, at least their abs are real.
Aditya Roy Kapoor has a couple of moments where he shows some interest, if not promise. Katrina Kaif is cast in the movie to play the character of Estella who is curt, indifferent and a tease in Dicken’s Great Expectations, but she even fails to swing that curtness that comes naturally to her. The girl who plays the young Firdaus has acted better. Or wait. Even her painting that Noor makes has better expressions.
Begum Hazrat is a badly written and (I am sorry, I love you Tabu) equally badly enacted character. Tabu, however, has a couple of intense moments towards the end of the film and she nails it as she expresses Begum’s insecurities and complexes.
The music and cinematography elevate an otherwise dull Fitoor.
WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN:
5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before you die!)
4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)
3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once.
2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!
1 star: Do I even need to explain this?