DIRECTOR: KC Bokadia
STARRING: Mallika Sherawat, Om Puri, Jackie Shroff, Naseeruddin Shah, Ashutosh Rana
RATING: 1 Star
An old politician discovers raging libido at 70, sets his lustful eyes on a dancer. The dancer, in turn, uses sex to frame the politician to fulfill her big political dreams. And in their silly tussle, I felt like a piece of steak mercilessly rolled over fire in that glass oven outside that Shawarma shop for hours in slow motion. (And they are fretting on beef ban. #BanTheseMovies.)
Dirty Politics has so many men that my eyes started bleeding after a point. Dhoti clad, fat, beer-bellied, obnoxious men are unleashed mercilessly on you that you actually feel the ‘dirty’ of Dirty Politics in a different context altogether though. Om Puri, Ashutosh Rana, Anupam Kher, Sushant Singh, Jackie Shroff, Naseerundin Shah, Govind Namdev, Rajpal Yadav, Atul Kulkarni and many ghamcha bearing extras. Phew. There were so many men in the film that even a Mallika Sherawat felt like a breath of fresh air even though she and her really short ghaghra appear on screen after 45 minutes into the film.
The first twenty minutes of the film are well paced. They come straight to the point and we are told about the murder of Anokhi Devi. And the next 100 minutes is a wooden duck that just talks about her murder and does NOTHING about it. At an exasperated point, I was like ‘somebody, please somebody solve this case before I see end of the world.’
Dirty Politics has no shades of grey. The bad is very bad and the good is so honest that they would even pay for that extra dhaniya that one gets during grocery shopping. They will fight injustice, frown at being bribed and be so moralistic that Aamir Khan will have a complex. They even spew some 'wardi ki kasam' kind of dialogues.
KC Bokadia takes a run-of-the-mill script and gives no turns, no twists, no nothing to the film. It’s a checklist of all clichés of a political drama --- ambition check, sex check, elections check, good policemen check, bad policemen check and a climax with full courtroom drama hell check!! Even the dialogues date back to 1950s. Sample this-
‘Hame apne andar chipe huye barood ko chingari dikhani hain.’ I wanted to drop the same barood on the person who wrote that dialogue.
Even the situations are so banal. A police officer nails a shooter who tried to assassinate the CBI chief.
Policeman: How much did they pay you to kill the CBI chief?
Shooter: Ten thousand.
Policemen: You would kill anyone for ten thousand???
Pause. Hang on for a sec. So are you trying to say that it’s cool to kill for a crore but not for a petty sum like ten thousand? Woah!!! How about asking him more pertinent questions like people who sent him to kill the CBI chief than going through his salary slip!!
Om Puri had to look frustrated in the film and he does a stellar job of it. Well, on second thoughts, it must have not been so difficult especially when you are sandwiched between a no brainer script and a dimwit like Mallika Sherawat.
Mallika-paaaliitiiiccss-with-an-accent-Sherawat plays Anokhi Devi. She is so irritating that when she dies in the movie you feel relieved. Her death by the way is not a SPOILER. She is the spoiler. There is a scene in which she bangs her phone on the floor. The phone had more expressions than her face.
I wonder what kind of conviction or payments made such talented actors; (from Naseer to Om Puri to Sushant Singh to Atul Kulkarni and Anupam Kher) take up such blah of a film. Dirty Politics is very dirty, no, not the kinds you are thinking. That dirt is usually deleted for a UAE release!! Bummer!!
WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN
5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before you die!)
4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)
3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once.
2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!
1 star: Do I even need to explain this?