It’s not only Sonam Kapoor who has chosen to marry outside the film industry. Why do many actresses marry, and marry successfully, outside the entertainment industry? Look at Preity Zinta. We were very close at one time and would often discuss her marriage plans. Preity would say she would never marry anyone from the film industry because it was like eating at the place where you do your morning chores. I am putting it politely to avoid embarrassment.
But you get the point? Preity finally married an American who had nothing to do with the film industry and had not seen a single film of hers. This distance from a Bollywood actress’ stardom always helps give perspective to a marriage.
Preity Zinta with her American husband
Rule no.1: Never marry a fan. We all remember what happened to poor Mukesh Aggarwal ! Rekha’s short-lived marriage with the besotted Aggarwal in the late 80s came to a horrific end when he ended his life by hanging himself with her dupatta. No wonder Madhuri Dixit chose to marry an Indian doctor in the US who had not seen any of her films. It’s not as if Dr Sriram Nene didn’t know who Madhuri Dixit was. You would have to be much more than an NRI to be ignorant of her star status in India. Maybe, belonging to a different planet would do it.
Madhuri with her doctor husband Sriram Nene
Asin is another actress who married away from her place of work. She was shown the marital exit-door by none other than Akshay Kumar who introduced her to his buddy Rahul Sharma. Mr Sharma was rich and wealthy and he had nothing to do with the film industry. Asin is now happily married with a baby to look after. I don’t know if Anand Ahuja was educated in the career nuances of Sonam Kapoor. Has he watched her ‘masterpieces’ like Anees Bazmi’s Thank You and Sooraj Barjatya’s Prem Ratan Dhan Payo? Or did he fall in love with the girl rather than the glitter and glamour? It always helps to have a healthy contact with the world outside the film industry.
Asin married an industrialist
So many marriages among people from the film industry are falling apart because both the parties are from the same workplace and they know exactly what goes on during outdoor location shooting.
A very prominent star-wife once confided in me that she was aware of her husband’s extra-marital activities. “Does he really think I don’t know what he is up when I am not around at those long outdoors? I am okay with it. Because once he is home, he thinks of only me and the children.” Actresses prefer non-actors as husbands because they don’t want to be reminded of all their (the husband’s and their own) affairs. To that extend Sonam Kapoor couldn’t have chosen better.
Several actresses from the earlier eras chose not to marry rather than marry a co-star. Asha Parekh who was everyone's favourite date-mate in the 1960s never entertained the thought of marrying one of her co-stars. "Koi sawaal hi nahin paida hota tha (the question just didn't arise). My co-stars were all my buddies. I couldn't dream of marrying any of them. They all treated like one of them. There was any romantic suggestion at all. I never got to meet men outside the industry to be able to marry anyone.'
Ashaji's friend Waheeda Rehman did finally marry someone outside the film industry. She too had resolved she would never marry a co-star. Her long association with filmmaker-actor Guru Dutt was fodder for gossip. But Waheedaji maintains to this day that she never wanted to marry anyone from within the film industry. Another legendary actress Vyjanthimala too married outside the entertainment industry and remains successfully wedded to this day.
Sharmila Tagore who was one of the most sought-after screen divas in the 1960 and 70s says there can be no hard and fast rules about love and marriage. "I was not married to someone from within the film industry. But it wasn't a conscious decision to not marry (an actor).My son and daughter are married to actors. And they are doing fine. It's all matter of personal choice."