Lokesh Dharmani gives his verdict on Jacqueline Fernandez and Sidharth Malhotra's A Gentleman

Jacqueline Fernandez

Read more about Jacqueline Fernandez

Director- Go Goa Gone and Shor in the City waale

Actors- Washboard abs

Rating- Meh nahi khel raha

The film begins with Gaurav’s and Rishi’s stories running parallel, beautifully differentiated with a slight change of expression - Mr. Constipated Smile, upside down who turns into intensity personified Mr. Frown.

Constipated Smile is a safe guy. The writers have given him such quirks like driving under speed limits, cooking and respecting everyone. He even has an OCD; he keeps arranging things in their place at his work station. Gosh, such depth, worthy of my soup bowl!

You instantly learn that Constipated Smile is a sales guy because he strings words like ‘graph’ ‘demands’ ‘market’ and other such meaningless jargon in a sentence like a pro. Wow such insights into the corporate world!

But he needs a foil. So let’s introduce the baddie! Opening shot? Hey hey hey, no points for guessing, it’s our shirtless wonder, displaying abs, flexing muscles, like he was not in a movie but in a Sauna Belt ad. Pehle main acha actor tha. Kapoor and Sons mein sensitive performance di thipar jab se mujhe yeh film mili hain…tab se mere abs bhi express karte hain…actually sirf wahi express karte hain!

Constipated and Frowny’s lives converge and become one. This is the highlight of the film, especially for those who believe in unicorns and claim to have spotted UFOs in their backyards.

There is a lot that the film offers - modern offices, smooth Miami roads, pristine beaches, fancy cars, a gorgeous house in the US, an Ikea sofa, a Crate and Barrel dining table and the leading lady. Sorry I don’t mean to use Jacqueline Fernandez and furniture in the same sentence especially when they are so different. The latter can emote.

Speaking of emotions, we have the one- expression miracle, Suniel Shetty. He plays a colonel who is at loggerheads with our very own Baddie Frowny. You might not know exactly why but if you don’t doze off, you will hear some grave words like National Security Council, arms deal, desh ke liye mar mito…blah blah!

There is also a hard drive that has some confidential information of illegal transactions that adds to the plot of the film. Sorry, my bad… I am using unimportant words like plot. But the film engages you so much that you find yourself rooting for the hero, hoping this hard drive will reach the right hands soon, so that the film can end and you can go home.

The dialogues are both funny and emotional. At one point, someone addresses a character named Dikshit as Dick-shit, a joke we thought about but didn’t bother to crack when Tezaab released in late 1980s. And when the writers thought the movie was losing its soul, they made Gaurav mouth some sentimental lines like, mere ghar, mera sapna, choti si simple zindagi. Beware, you will choke on your popcorn!

Siddharth Malhotra and Jacqueline Fernandez are earnest. They genuinely make an effort to make sense of this enigmatic script. But the incompetent direction and plain lazy writing don’t give them any scope to salvage this pointless exotic, brochure of Miami.

A Gentleman is a gentle reminder of all other exciting things one can do this weekend, like bury your face in your bed and sleep.