Psychologist Devika Singh shares 10 tips to keep your marriage forever young
1 Focus On One Shared Activity
Research on neurobiology in human relationships shows that engaging in recreational or functional activities together, creates a sense of bonding. This is because of oxytocin, the 'cuddle hormone' which is produced for males and females through activity and talking. So whether it's watching movies, bowling or cookery classes, try to establish a routine for doing some of these things together.
2 Set Dates – And Stick To Them
Remember the importance of dedicated time alone, and make it a ritual. For some, this time represents commitment, for others it represents care. Dates can also be a reminder of the early phase in your relationship.
3 Set Aside 'Conference Time'
This is where both of you agree to talk about anything that has upset you, or something you don't understand. Use this time to discuss feelings and suggest ways to do things differently.
4 Plan Surprises
When the surprise is a pleasant one, the mind-body system instantly goes into an arousal state. This rush of chemicals can create or enhance healthy feelings of attachment between partners.
5 Eat For Well-being
When you eat a healthy, balanced diet geared towards physiological well-being you are actually feeding your brain. There are many different mechanisms through which the brain extracts what it needs from the diet but one of the basics for this process is gastrointestinal functioning. Serotonin, the happiness hormone, is found in the gastrointestinal tract. To summarise: Healthy diet = healthy gastric process = abundance of serotonin = general sense of well-being = more positivity in relationships.
6 Mirror What You Hear
Research has confirmed that the more time you spend with each other, the less you actually listen. To counter the risk of being misheard or misunderstood, act as a mirror for your partner by repeating what you have just heard and asking him-her to do the same, especially when you are discussing critical issues.
7 Friends Forever
Friendship is the basis for any marriage. Start by asking each other to describe what a good friend is. Then ask yourselves if you are being a good friend according to your own definition and according to your partner's. Would you show up late for dinner with a friend without letting her know you are running late? No. So why wouldn't you do the same for your partner?
8 Have Tech-free Nights
Plan to have at least one night a week where you switch off all your techno gadgets such as TV, radio, computer or phone. Get creative with your idea of entertainment!
9 Write To Each Other
Psychologists are known for asking couples to talk things out, but writing to and reading a letter from a loved one can be very powerful, especially when you say things you don't, can't or won't say otherwise when you're speaking.
10 Stay Tactile
Commit to touch each other every time you meet. This could be a kiss, holding hands for a moment, a hug, a gentle tap on the shoulder etc. Communicating through touch is a simple way to stay connected with each other.